We often get caught up in our daily thoughts... "ahhh it's too early to wake up", "okay, I need to hurry up and eat, then head to my appt, then..." or "why does she always have something negative to say to me?" or a myriad of thoughts that spew into our minds at any time. These thought can often prevent us from seeing outside of our own perspectives.
Today I visited some friends that were having a party. I am lucky, and tend to surround myself with compassionate, loving individuals that try to build each other up. Today, I was in a similar environment, except there was a stranger I had never met before. As I stood in the circle talking with everyone around me, this character began to say some strange random things that bordered offensive and/or disrespectful (these were my thoughts, anyways, and so... how I took the situation.) It began with him telling me that I didnt graduate High School (I believed as a slander, but I remained optimistic).
I said "You are right! I took my GED instead," with a smile. He didnt respond, but at the opportune chance he continued making even more pointed remarks about me or my character. There came a point where I had pretty much had enough of this verbal abuse that was being directed at me for no reason I could understand. It resulted in my explaining that he did not need to be rude or make me feel uncomfortable, that I was coming from a place of compassion - not judgment or some other negative perspective.
He continued to poke and prod, to what point I finally turned to him and said that his attitude was going to attract the lesson he needed to learn, the one that would end this ridiculous type of behavior. He told me he welcomed that day open armed. The gates were open. I told him that I wasn't about to be that person, my path is in another direction, but I wasn't scared of him. He said that wasn't the intent and that pushing my buttons allowed him to "get the best of me" in what I considered a childish manner.
I was frustrated and did not want my mood to ruin any one else time at the party, so I had planned to leave. I was lucky enough to be able to explain and talk it out with one of the hosts, and my beautiful lover on two separate occasions within the 30 minutes after this taking place. Being allowed to talk out my feelings, and realizing the thought processes that "I" caused to take things in a wrong direction made "his lesson" come to full understanding.
Regardless of this mans intention, I should not allow any person's actions, thoughts, or words have a negative effect upon my experience. What allowed me to fall away from this understanding, was allowing myself to run with thought at his bizarre way of "testing" someone. I realized it really did not matter if the guy was a dick, or if he was trying to help me release more of the false sense of control we place over people or situations with our thought. What I realized is that regardless of these intentions, I had allowed his interaction with me to let me think how I could let him know he did not need to treat me this way, I am friendly, I hold you know ill will, if you feel this way - how can I help you feel different...
All these things are a form of control. Good intent, on my end... but me trying to Think ways to control the situation (based on good values and a common respect I have for my fellow man.) The problem is that it is still "control" and whenever we force this type of thought or manipulation on someone (regardless of our intention) it is still from a wrong place: Control.
Once I realized this... I went back to him and shook his hand. I apologized for the way I treated him (and did not expect an apology in return.) I told him that I learned a very big lesson.
"Oh you did?" He said with a double-take, as if he didn't think I'd have got it. And I replied, "Yes, I did." I asked for his name and he continued...
"I told you before, it's David. And you said 'Oh yeah, whatever the F* your name is..."
I realized immediately, that dick or not, I was being tested by the same situation. I smiled immediately and I said, "I said I learned the lesson" and smiled.
How complete and easy it can be - though tests and lessons continue to keep us on the right path, the way can be so clear at times.
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