seeing outside of ourselves

We often get caught up in our daily thoughts... "ahhh it's too early to wake up", "okay, I need to hurry up and eat, then head to my appt, then..." or "why does she always have something negative to say to me?" or a myriad of thoughts that spew into our minds at any time.  These thought can often prevent us from seeing outside of our own perspectives.

Today I visited some friends that were having a party.  I am lucky, and tend to surround myself with compassionate, loving individuals that try to build each other up.  Today, I was in a similar environment, except there was a stranger I had never met before.  As I stood in the circle talking with everyone around me, this character began to say some strange random things that bordered offensive and/or disrespectful (these were my thoughts, anyways, and so... how I took the situation.)  It began with him telling me that I didnt graduate High School (I believed as a slander, but I remained optimistic).

I said "You are right!  I took my GED instead," with a smile.  He didnt respond, but at the opportune chance he continued making even more pointed remarks about me or my character.  There came a point where I had pretty much had enough of this verbal abuse that was being directed at me for no reason I could understand.  It resulted in my explaining that he did not need to be rude or make me feel uncomfortable, that I was coming from a place of compassion - not judgment or some other negative perspective.

He continued to poke and prod, to what point I finally turned to him and said that his attitude was going to attract the lesson he needed to learn, the one that would end this ridiculous type of behavior.  He told me he welcomed that day open armed.  The gates were open.  I told him that I wasn't about to be that person, my path is in another direction, but I wasn't scared of him.  He said that wasn't the intent and that pushing my buttons allowed him to "get the best of me" in what I considered a childish manner.

I was frustrated and did not want my mood to ruin any one else time at the party, so I had planned to leave.  I was lucky enough to be able to explain and talk it out with one of the hosts, and my beautiful lover on two separate occasions within the 30 minutes after this taking place.  Being allowed to talk out my feelings, and realizing the thought processes that "I" caused to take things in a wrong direction made "his lesson" come to full understanding.

Regardless of this mans intention, I should not allow any person's actions, thoughts, or words have a negative effect upon my experience.  What allowed me to fall away from this understanding, was allowing myself to run with thought at his bizarre way of "testing" someone.  I realized it really did not matter if the guy was a dick, or if he was trying to help me release more of the false sense of control we place over people or situations with our thought.  What I realized is that regardless of these intentions, I had allowed his interaction with me to let me think how I could let him know he did not need to treat me this way, I am friendly, I hold you know ill will, if you feel this way - how can I help you feel different...

All these things are a form of control.  Good intent, on my end... but me trying to Think ways to control the situation (based on good values and a common respect I have for my fellow man.)  The problem is that it is still "control" and whenever we force this type of thought or manipulation on someone (regardless of our intention) it is still from a wrong place:  Control.

Once I realized this... I went back to him and shook his hand.  I apologized for the way I treated him (and did not expect an apology in return.)  I told him that I learned a very big lesson.

"Oh you did?"  He said with a double-take, as if he didn't think I'd have got it.  And I replied, "Yes, I did."  I asked for his name and he continued...

"I told you before, it's David.  And you said 'Oh yeah, whatever the F* your name is..."

I realized immediately, that dick or not, I was being tested by the same situation.  I smiled immediately and I said, "I said I learned the lesson" and smiled.

How complete and easy it can be - though tests and lessons continue to keep us on the right path, the way can be so clear at times.

There is no time like the present; living in the moment.

So the last two days I've really been busting ass, getting a lot of work and personal goals accomplished.  It's taking  A LOT of time, and I'm not getting much sleep, but the satisfaction of the work being done is keeping me moving.  I got ample rest yesterday (about 5 hours) and did not get any tonight.  It's just coming on dawn, so who knows - I may grab a couple hours sleep - but after some realizations I've had tonight, I'm tempted to head outside and meditate, stretch, and have a light workout with the sunrise.  I was just as tempted to get some of my thoughts down - something I've been meaning to do more often... but as one of my realizations were tonight:

There is no time like the Present.  I began to contemplate earlier, while I was working late into the wee hours of the morning... that it had been some time that I've put so much dedication into the things I want to accomplish.  What had been holding me back?  I mean, I have been working... the bills have been getting paid, though tight it has been.  Lucky for me, my father instilled in me a strong value in working hard.  It wasn't easy, trust me; I'm sure he thought - well into my twenties - that I was never going to really grab hold of responsibility, my potential, or choose some direction in life.  Some things take some people more time... and mine was growing up.  But once I did, the work ethic my father passed on to me (along with the many skills that a jack-of-all-trades can impart) has been invaluable.  Thank you, dad.
I digress.  The bills have been getting paid, but things were not flowing as smoothly as I am used to them flowing.  And it can be frustrating.  I know my potential, and I know what is holding me back.  My own will.  Perhaps, some might say... It's the planets.  It's the ebb that counters yet compliments the flow; and soon the flow will return.  You needed to learn something.  Well, sure... all those answers can fit, and all of them can be true at the same time .  But those aren't answers, they are merely side affects.  Side affects from my inaction.  Because, I did not continue in my normal pace.
Perhaps the stars slowed my momentum mentally, or emotionally... what do the stars draw upon; our spirit?  Sure, for the prior two years my life had been soaring, on top of the world, happier than I have ever been, prosperous in every sense.  Although I believe we can live in a perpetual state of love, compassion, and enjoyment/happiness - I could agree that it's possible that my flow, naturally needed to cycle and turn toward a state of rest... so that whatever (in this case, lessons might be learned) that could enact positive flow once again.
Great.  Back to the issue; my inactivity.  Well, hell, that's easily remedied... I've been workin hard, and it's been feeling fantastic.  Seeing my visions take root and manifesting within days.  Lot's of goals marked out for this year, and I feel I've wasted time, or simply not fulfilling my potential.  And that affects a lot of people.  But, when it is all said and done, it affects me... I'm doing this to myself.  Do you ever get that feeling like... duh!
So then that translates to every other aspect of my life.  What else am I doing to myself?  LOL... god, do I really want to go there?  Lets see... I've been working balls, right?  So when my lovely lady calls me hours into the day to see how my day is going, or to see if I'm going to need to use the Mazda, or to see if I'm hungry and want her to bring by some lunch... I see my dad come out of me.  Growing up, as a kid I would see, hear, and sense my dad's frustration when he would answer the phone at work.  In construction, it often interrupted the flow of work, but often had the potential of being a customer or job to bid on... so he would yammer "Yeah!?" or "What's up?!" not because he was mad or angry or upset or frustrated with the person on the other end... but because he was stopping what he was doing, to answer the phone, even though he was frustrated to do so.  I find that I've been doing this and not even knowing it.  The realization struck me as well earlier.  I can't tell my father what he should of done differently, but I can sure the hell think of some things for myself.  I either need to not answer the phone, listen to the message as soon as I can, ans respond lovingly - as I want to show her that I love, and care for, and miss her as well.  If I choose to answer the phone, I should only do so with a positive attitude.  The saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" can translate into so many things.  If you don't have a positive attitude about something - don't do it.  Instead of letting the frustration of the moment (phone ringing while I'm holding a rain-gutter above my head) I can take a quick moment to smile, enjoy the interaction with my lover, and then continue on in my work... unphased by what had previously only caused frustration to myself, possible dismay to my loved ones, and gave a false perspective of my attitude - as if I was not happy to hear from her, but seemingly upset by it. 
That sure is a funny thing to do to yourself, and the person you love.  What else have I been doing to myself, or preventing myself from doing?  I have not been taking the time to exercise like I have been meaning to do.  I have not been reading, as I have said I want and need to do.  I have not been blogging as often as I had intended on doing.  And the sad thing is, I know that all of these things I am not doing, can easily be done as well as everything else that I have been accomplishing.  I'm great at time management, I just have not been managing it optimally.  I guess the why does not really matter.  What matters is that I realize this, and that I take control and do the things I intend to do, and accomplish the goals I lay out for myself.
I have been doing more massage.  I have been spending time getting our home organized - still, from the move... and I'm almost there.  Been getting alot of spring cleaning, and yard work done.  Been working on some Collective stuff, though I still want to be further ahead than I currently am.  A lot of good, positive things are happening and I am loving the momentum, it makes me feel alive.  In the moment.
That's how one is meant to live life: every moment with purpose; every action expressed and experienced fully; vision passing into manifestation. .  In the moment.  I have lived in the moment before... I am used to living that way.  For some reason, I've become unattuned.  Again, it doesn't really matter why - save to aid against it reoccurring in the future - merely that I know I am in control of myself, my attitude, my actions, my decisions, my experience, my direction, and the ability with which I do all things. 
This is going to be a fantastic year. 

Graditude beyond words

There come times in our lives when we have the chance to help other people.  I've noticed as I've gotten older, and watched more of the world, that these chances present themselves quite often - especially when you are looking for them.
Then, on rarer occasions, we have the chance to really effect dramatic change in another persons life.  These present themselves in many ways:  your son needs a car; your wife needs to quit working to pursue her dream; a family member passes away and their spouse is left with a lot of debt that you can help with...  limitless reasons, for limitless population.
About a year ago, I had such a chance.  A friend of mine was going through a lot of stress and rapid change in their life, and I felt didn't need the added overwhelming pressure of pressing financial burdens to weigh even more on the emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges that were being faced at the time.  It was a time when I could be a true friend, and offer the means I had to someone else over the originally intended reasons I had worked at making the money (which were my own.)
I know it meant a lot to my friend.  It seems obvious to most of us - it creates a sense of gratefulness when people choose to go out of their way to give you support (whatever the method; cash is merely one.)  But very often in life, it is difficult for us to really understand or have a complete grasp of the feelings that the other person(s) might experience.  I want to always feel good, when I give.  If something does not feel right about it, or if I feel I will be compromising my family's well-being over it - then I understand that it is not always in my power to give financial aid.  I can however offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a meal to someone hungry, and even if all of these things change, I will always be able to look into a brother or sister's eyes - identify with them as a human being, who is co-creating this life with me, and offer a smile; some small glimpse that compassion, love, and mutual-respect exist.
Well, it is not often that one gets to experience what I am experiencing now.
With all my heart I am grateful.  So grateful to my friend, and his family, whom I was able to help a year ago.  Grateful to the universe.  Grateful for the choices I've made.  I love when the world opens up, prosperity makes itself available, and energy works together to perform miracles.
Things have come full circle (and maybe it's just a spiral... I'd like to think it is... ever revolving... forever prospering...)  My friend was able to put cash in my hands recently, when I myself have been struggling and am financially challenged.  I am able to completely feel, for the most part, exactly what my friend was allowed to experience a year ago, when I helped him out.  I must say that it is an amazing feeling.  A feeling a freedom.  Love.  Family.  Unity.
Let's keep treating each other right.  Let's love, nurture, and guide our communities to the utopia's we know we are capable of creating... because we are creating them together now.  Much Love.

Newton had it wrong

Newton's 3rd law states for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I feel differently about it.  Surely this law exists in some (maybe even in most) cases, as we encounter it moment-to-moment during our physical existence.  However, it could be just as easily said that sometimes there are actions based off other actions, but that those moments are mere coincidence. (I know, I know... "there are no such things as coincidence"... but that's another blog, another time!)  If this was the case, then what we've been told since we were old enough to reason (for EVERY action there is an EQUAL and OPPOSITE reaction) is a conditioning that we've received from our parents, by society.  More importantly, it would be a lie.

So let's re-start.  NOT every action has a reaction.

Consider this: a stranger cuts you off in traffic.  You don't need to flip him the bird, or mutter under your breath.  One doesn't need to speed up and try to create an "equal or opposite" reaction - as I have in the past - and cut the guy off in response.  A person wouldn't even need to brake or slow, if the person cutting in had adequate room and maneuvered properly.  With this said, some action happened... which, at least for a moment, had something to do with us - or at least held our attention mentally.  Because we create our own existence moment-to-moment, we have the ability to control our actions; deciding whether to act upon that prior action - reacting; or whether we allow nothing to change because of the action we witnessed, and make our current actions regardless and indifferent to the act that happened outside-of-us.

Many of us have different religious backgrounds or have been raised with some type of standardized morals.  To use one example; in Christianity, Jesus teaches that the Old Testament law "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" [Exodus 21:24-25] is an out-dated action (or reaction.)  Instead, he professes that we should "Love they neighbor as thyself" (he expounds a bit more on the subject, but I am not hear to preach or push Christianity) [Luke 6:27-31 & Matthew 5:38-42] which translated in layman's terms means that we should be as good to each other, and make as good of considerations for others as we do for ourselves.  There are various other philosophies and religious doctrine that reflect this same moral value: Love > hate.

In order for us to accomplish these things, we need to unlearn the precept that "every action has an equal and opposite reaction."  Replace it now.  Commit the following lines to memory and hold them as truths:

1.  Actions exist in- and out-side of themselves
2.  Actions are more purposeful than reactions.  (Action implies process and operation, while reaction denotes reflex.)
3.  Like attracts like. (The Law of Attraction)

With these three laws in mind, it holds us responsible for our experience and for our very existence on this plane.  We are aware that actions are happening all around us - caused by others, as well as ourselves.  We realize they while all these actions operate interdependently upon each other; each exists alone, as well.  We can infer from actions being more purposeful than reactions, that we should try to live a life based off actions instead of reactions - and that reactions are merely actions without as much thought, planning, and freedom.  Because the Law of Attraction states that "like attracts like" we know that positivity attracts positivity, and that doing the right thing attracts the right things happening, and that wishing well upon others means that well is wished upon us.  We always have the ability to see things just the way we want them... it's just one of the many other things we control.  Between our perception and our actions, we hold a lot of power over our condition, our experience, and our literal existence.  It should be an amazing, learning experience, that is fun, full of joy and love, and positive growth for us and all those around us.

Christmas Magic revisited

Merry Christmas, all.  What an amazing life I have... surrounded by so many positive, wonderful people.  This year I experienced the best Thanksgiving I've ever had.  I wasn't able to travel and visit family, and I was looking forward to - for once - having Christmas at home.  My daughter moved with me this year... long awaited, on my end ;) and she just turned 18 just days ago... but this was my first Christmas, spent at my own home, with her, while in her home too.  It was warm and fuzzy.  And while she missed her mom, and her siblings... and as I missed my parents (all four) and my siblings... we made it a blockbuster together.  Not much in the way of gifts this year... except for our love and dedication to building each other up and helping each other achieve.
It was spent with friends... "family".  The one we've created, outside of ourselves.  The Stanley's and Shirley-Moore's, some of the finest people, and my closest friends.  A blessed evening; shared with wine, diner, and pleasant friendship.  Love.  Love.  Love.

Christmas Magic

The universe must be directing me to shake the skittles out of my cerebellum. One message broadcasted after the next, has been a steady stream of Christmas Magic.  I'd say that one of the symptoms of aging, is sometimes loosing that special sense of creative imagination.  Imagine that!  It's what happens as we begin to take things for granted.
Lucky for me, I've been getting  major doses of reality and trying to check myself against them.  I try to live my life honorably, with respect and consideration of others, and with the common betterment of society, in mind.  I fancy myself a humanitarian; I want to help create a better world.  It has been a trying year; and the past few months have been some of the hardest.  Naturally, these are the most trying of times for us - as it is harder to project abundance, and keep a positive mindset, and share loving energy in our everyday interactions with the world - when there isn't gas money to make it to work; or cash for groceries.
The laws of the universe do not change.  Being grateful is key.  Well, actually - state of mind is key... and being grateful is the attitude I find works best.  It places me in a thankful disposition; my heart opens; I acknowledge things in my life that bring me peace and happiness (and abundance); negative thought, worry, and anxiety leave my body; then leave my mind; i project a happy presence - because I am happy; looking at life and each unfolding encounter as something positive that will help me affect a peaceful feeling, add toward money earned,or cause me to accomplish some goal.
Coming from a state of mind, where I believe I affect and create my world daily - moment to moment - I sometimes forget to appreciate the forces from outside myself.  It can be easy to get locked into one's own perspective; which is being selfish.  Failing to see the whole picture often causes us to miss out on a lot of good things.  Taking things that increase the quality of our lives for granted, only leads us away from keeping the things that make us happy the focus of our minds and hearts... when this happens, our mind is sometimes filled with other things... like where am I going to get the money for this bill?  or how come she didn't smile when she looked at me? or how can I get away with...?
Christmas Magic is very real.  The world is full of magic, and this time of year has it's own special kind.  It's the winter solstice; a traditional time for giving; song and cheer are heard on the wind; bright and twinkling Christmas lights in every neighborhood; goodwill toward men; smiles and shared laughs; love.  It's a time for love.  And what better magic is there than Love?
I put my faith into the Universe (that can read Love, or God) and the Universe provides.  I am extra thankful this season for Christmas Magic, as it has rekindled the joy in my soul and allows me to breath easier knowing that I am following the right path.  Christmas Magic proved to me that magic is always possible, and more importantly - that nothing is impossible.
The magic is that real change occurs, perceptions change, and we can experience gains in knowledge and wisdom during the times that seem the hardest.  We are better people in the end, because of them... so I want to be thankful for these times, all the more so.
I love you all; peace, love, unity, and abundance

Blessed Reassurance

It is always good to feel that I am moving in the right direction.  I try to govern my life the best I can; making the best choices for not only me, but my family, my friends, and my community.  I try to live in a way that benefits the world outside of me.  Today I was reassured by a good friend, that I am on the right track.  He tells me like I have never been off of it... but I, who know myself, as well as friends that are close enough to see, know that I've had some inner struggles lately.
Oh, I'm all good... and it's because of caring friends; my amazing partner-in-life; a daughter so incredible I can't figure out how I became so blessed; and it's the Christ or Buddha (or how-many-1000-ways-you-can-look-at-it) that I come into contact with - moment by moment - that I open myself up to it, that make it possible.
Thank you Universe for my life.  I treasure it, and I strive to create your positive influence in the world one smile; one knowing glance; one compassionate embrace at a time.  YOU prove to me that it is what's best for me.  It really works, and my life is forever changed and grateful each day.
Tonight we share our love with a brother, celebrating his birthday in Los Angeles.  I'm looking forward to a memorable time with friends and meeting new people ;)
Peace, love, and confidence.

Miracles do happen

I awoke today, as I do nearly each morning, looking at the face of my lover as we lay in bed.  "I love you" we tell eachother.  She is up and in the shower, on schedule for helping her mom get some work done this morning, and so I opt to try and catch  a couple extra hours of some much-needed sleep.  Another late night had me up toiling till 4:30am.
As I begin to pull my consciousness from my lazy dreams, I open my eyes on the cusp of a smooth, deep inhale.  Feeling relaxed and revitalized (Empowered!) I scoop myself out of bed, propelling myself into the day.  I feel I am shedding any old, unserving skin and anchoring myself in the maxims that I know allow me to create my life the way I do.  It's just after 9, and I lay in bed another ten to twenty minutes taking my time to diligently visualize the major things that I am grateful for today.  The list is long and powerful.  I then gather my thoughts about the things I'd like to accomplish today.  Not the gargantuan, rolling list of work that seems insurmountable... but quite a many tasks (both large and small) that I know are reasonable for me to accomplish in one days time. There's a list of plenty to-dos, and my happy heart begins with brushing teeth, sliding on some clothes, and making my way out into the household where the rest of my family are gathering themselves to venture out into their respective worlds.  Sarah J to work at the salon; Desi to check-in with her teacher at school.
Sarah J says to me:
"So Alan, my dad calls me this morning.  He tells me that there is something he wants to talk with me about.  He says that they haven't told me anything yet... but there is a new procedure being performed in parts of the world that have been having some positive results and are minimizing the symptoms caused by MS.  An "experimental" medical procedure.  The kind that doctors in the U.S. are not performing yet.  The type that aren't covered by medical insurance."
The procedure basically places a small inflated balloon into vessels in your brain, dis-allowing the constriction that is caused by MS, which creates the symptoms associated with the disease.
He continues to divulge to her - and she to me, "Well, there are two surgeons in the U.S. which have begun to perform this procedure.  Yesterday, in Long Beach, I had the procedure done."
Now Sarah J has been living with her dad's condition since she was a young girl (thirteen'ish.)  He has been confined to a wheel-chair, for the most part, the better portion of a half-decade; and has been living with symptoms for just over fifteen years.  His hands are often too drawn to grasp pencils or a cup.
She continued her story, "He told me, Alan, that about 1/3 of patients that undergo the surgery do not notice any dramatic results or seem unaffected.  He then told me that after the surgery, yesterday, and throughout the rest of the day and night, that he had felt no different.  No change.  Both he, my mom, and the doctor all felt a little disheartened that no differences were felt (and my understanding is, often, some change is felt immediately.)
Upon waking this morning, rather early, he got out of bed and went to the bathroom.  The difference was, he didn't use his wheel-chair... he sat, stood, and walked... like he hadn't in years.
Almost unbelieving the turn of events, he woke his wife and gave her the warmest hug.  Also, unlike the hugs of recent years - where she had been accustomed to bearing the majority of his weight upon her, during such times... this time he stood his own ground; legs steady and holding; embrace warm and energetic."

Miracles happen every day.  All around us.  Large and small.  Some we create.  This one I witnessed.  I was awed.