There is no time like the present; living in the moment.

So the last two days I've really been busting ass, getting a lot of work and personal goals accomplished.  It's taking  A LOT of time, and I'm not getting much sleep, but the satisfaction of the work being done is keeping me moving.  I got ample rest yesterday (about 5 hours) and did not get any tonight.  It's just coming on dawn, so who knows - I may grab a couple hours sleep - but after some realizations I've had tonight, I'm tempted to head outside and meditate, stretch, and have a light workout with the sunrise.  I was just as tempted to get some of my thoughts down - something I've been meaning to do more often... but as one of my realizations were tonight:

There is no time like the Present.  I began to contemplate earlier, while I was working late into the wee hours of the morning... that it had been some time that I've put so much dedication into the things I want to accomplish.  What had been holding me back?  I mean, I have been working... the bills have been getting paid, though tight it has been.  Lucky for me, my father instilled in me a strong value in working hard.  It wasn't easy, trust me; I'm sure he thought - well into my twenties - that I was never going to really grab hold of responsibility, my potential, or choose some direction in life.  Some things take some people more time... and mine was growing up.  But once I did, the work ethic my father passed on to me (along with the many skills that a jack-of-all-trades can impart) has been invaluable.  Thank you, dad.
I digress.  The bills have been getting paid, but things were not flowing as smoothly as I am used to them flowing.  And it can be frustrating.  I know my potential, and I know what is holding me back.  My own will.  Perhaps, some might say... It's the planets.  It's the ebb that counters yet compliments the flow; and soon the flow will return.  You needed to learn something.  Well, sure... all those answers can fit, and all of them can be true at the same time .  But those aren't answers, they are merely side affects.  Side affects from my inaction.  Because, I did not continue in my normal pace.
Perhaps the stars slowed my momentum mentally, or emotionally... what do the stars draw upon; our spirit?  Sure, for the prior two years my life had been soaring, on top of the world, happier than I have ever been, prosperous in every sense.  Although I believe we can live in a perpetual state of love, compassion, and enjoyment/happiness - I could agree that it's possible that my flow, naturally needed to cycle and turn toward a state of rest... so that whatever (in this case, lessons might be learned) that could enact positive flow once again.
Great.  Back to the issue; my inactivity.  Well, hell, that's easily remedied... I've been workin hard, and it's been feeling fantastic.  Seeing my visions take root and manifesting within days.  Lot's of goals marked out for this year, and I feel I've wasted time, or simply not fulfilling my potential.  And that affects a lot of people.  But, when it is all said and done, it affects me... I'm doing this to myself.  Do you ever get that feeling like... duh!
So then that translates to every other aspect of my life.  What else am I doing to myself?  LOL... god, do I really want to go there?  Lets see... I've been working balls, right?  So when my lovely lady calls me hours into the day to see how my day is going, or to see if I'm going to need to use the Mazda, or to see if I'm hungry and want her to bring by some lunch... I see my dad come out of me.  Growing up, as a kid I would see, hear, and sense my dad's frustration when he would answer the phone at work.  In construction, it often interrupted the flow of work, but often had the potential of being a customer or job to bid on... so he would yammer "Yeah!?" or "What's up?!" not because he was mad or angry or upset or frustrated with the person on the other end... but because he was stopping what he was doing, to answer the phone, even though he was frustrated to do so.  I find that I've been doing this and not even knowing it.  The realization struck me as well earlier.  I can't tell my father what he should of done differently, but I can sure the hell think of some things for myself.  I either need to not answer the phone, listen to the message as soon as I can, ans respond lovingly - as I want to show her that I love, and care for, and miss her as well.  If I choose to answer the phone, I should only do so with a positive attitude.  The saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" can translate into so many things.  If you don't have a positive attitude about something - don't do it.  Instead of letting the frustration of the moment (phone ringing while I'm holding a rain-gutter above my head) I can take a quick moment to smile, enjoy the interaction with my lover, and then continue on in my work... unphased by what had previously only caused frustration to myself, possible dismay to my loved ones, and gave a false perspective of my attitude - as if I was not happy to hear from her, but seemingly upset by it. 
That sure is a funny thing to do to yourself, and the person you love.  What else have I been doing to myself, or preventing myself from doing?  I have not been taking the time to exercise like I have been meaning to do.  I have not been reading, as I have said I want and need to do.  I have not been blogging as often as I had intended on doing.  And the sad thing is, I know that all of these things I am not doing, can easily be done as well as everything else that I have been accomplishing.  I'm great at time management, I just have not been managing it optimally.  I guess the why does not really matter.  What matters is that I realize this, and that I take control and do the things I intend to do, and accomplish the goals I lay out for myself.
I have been doing more massage.  I have been spending time getting our home organized - still, from the move... and I'm almost there.  Been getting alot of spring cleaning, and yard work done.  Been working on some Collective stuff, though I still want to be further ahead than I currently am.  A lot of good, positive things are happening and I am loving the momentum, it makes me feel alive.  In the moment.
That's how one is meant to live life: every moment with purpose; every action expressed and experienced fully; vision passing into manifestation. .  In the moment.  I have lived in the moment before... I am used to living that way.  For some reason, I've become unattuned.  Again, it doesn't really matter why - save to aid against it reoccurring in the future - merely that I know I am in control of myself, my attitude, my actions, my decisions, my experience, my direction, and the ability with which I do all things. 
This is going to be a fantastic year.